The following came from a friend in local government -- sounds like important news.
New Element Discovered........Administratium
The National Science Foundation has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been named "Administratium". An article will be published in next month's issue of Science Magazine. Here are the highlights:
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast numbers of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, its presence can be detected by its ability to impede every action with which it comes into contact. In peer-reviewed experiments, a tiny amount of Administratium caused one action to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than one minute. In another experiment, a lot of Administratium prevented a useful action from being completed at all.
Administratium has an estimated half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes continuous reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass appears to increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, which then default into permanent but unseen isodopes.
This characteristic of moron self-promotion led the team of scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed automatically in nature whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass" and is the subject of continuing research.
As to Administratium's potential danger to society, the scientists suspect that it is already everywhere in the public sector and is increasingly prevalent in the private sector. Prevention is probably out of the question. They are calling for calm, as doing nothing is the most comforting environment for Administratium. Their advice is:
You'll know it when you see it...